I have decided enough of being miserable and things are only going to change if i try and change them. I am going make a list of that i want or need to do in the future:
1. Try and get some better control of my health, firstly get my RBH appointment brought forward, they are the only people that can really help and if they cant do anymore then atleast i can say that i tried.
2. Start thinking about number 1, i cant please everyone else all the time so i am going to stop trying, if people are my real friends they will stand by me no matter what. For a little while i am going to concentrate on myself and getting what i want or need out of life.
3. Decide what to do with my job, whether i reduce my hours or change completely i am not sure, all i do know is that i can no longer work full time and have any kind of life, maybe i could just reduce my hours for a couple of months and see what happens.
4.start the OU course that i have been wanting to do for ages but keep putting of.
Well thats a start but most importantly live every day as if there was no tomorrow!!
Thursday, 17 June 2010
FEELING DOWN POST HOLIDAY
Well just returned from a fabulous holuday to turkey, really needed the rest as was really tired before i left!!
the holiday was great, laid on the beach all day!! as for my health it was relatively ok over there, had a few dodgy moments but nothing i couldnt deal with.
no back in england and things couldnt be more different. As soon as i landed my lungs turned against me and they dont seem to want me to have a life at all!!
I guess i was hoping that once back from holiday things would be different but they arent.
Just been to see respiratory nurse and she was fab, she could tell i was fed with it all and has given me some advice, the most important thing is that i need my brompton appointment brought forward, so next week i am going to get on to it.
I have to go back to work next week and i am honestly dreading it!! i just hope i feel a bit better otherwise it is going to be really hard work, i am not sure how much longer i want or can work 36 hours a week (it frustrates me as i used to work 50 hours a week no problems.
Well hopefully this is just a bit of feeling down post holiday and i will pick myself up over the weekend!!
the holiday was great, laid on the beach all day!! as for my health it was relatively ok over there, had a few dodgy moments but nothing i couldnt deal with.
no back in england and things couldnt be more different. As soon as i landed my lungs turned against me and they dont seem to want me to have a life at all!!
I guess i was hoping that once back from holiday things would be different but they arent.
Just been to see respiratory nurse and she was fab, she could tell i was fed with it all and has given me some advice, the most important thing is that i need my brompton appointment brought forward, so next week i am going to get on to it.
I have to go back to work next week and i am honestly dreading it!! i just hope i feel a bit better otherwise it is going to be really hard work, i am not sure how much longer i want or can work 36 hours a week (it frustrates me as i used to work 50 hours a week no problems.
Well hopefully this is just a bit of feeling down post holiday and i will pick myself up over the weekend!!
Sunday, 25 April 2010
BETTER WEEK!!
Much better week this week!!
It has been a busy but better week, finally caught up with work after being in hospital and even managing to get on with coursework, really need to get it finished before the end of the month so must plow on!!
Health wise, things very up an down , had hospital in the week and the nurse was really lovely, she sorted out my theophyylin level and arranged everything i needed, also she is talking to consultant about infection again, so just waiting to hear! she deserves a medal as she helps me loads and i know she is really busy!!
Still in lots of pain but not to bad with painkilers and am determined to not let it get in the way of gettng on, wlthough the truth is it bring me to tears regularly!!
not alot else to say, lets hope this week remains positive and i aoid hospital at all costs!!
It has been a busy but better week, finally caught up with work after being in hospital and even managing to get on with coursework, really need to get it finished before the end of the month so must plow on!!
Health wise, things very up an down , had hospital in the week and the nurse was really lovely, she sorted out my theophyylin level and arranged everything i needed, also she is talking to consultant about infection again, so just waiting to hear! she deserves a medal as she helps me loads and i know she is really busy!!
Still in lots of pain but not to bad with painkilers and am determined to not let it get in the way of gettng on, wlthough the truth is it bring me to tears regularly!!
not alot else to say, lets hope this week remains positive and i aoid hospital at all costs!!
Saturday, 17 April 2010
well another week gone and what a horrible one it has been!
started on monday with the anniversary of my mums death! i miss her terribly at the moment with all that is going on!!
some positive stuff has happened, spoke to nurse at local hospital and she was fab as allways, really helpful and managed to speak to the RBH for me! I also had a message from RBH to say that they are still looking into the situation and have an appointment on 19th may so we wil see what happens after that.
Struggling emotionally at the moment although managing to hide it most of the time! i think it is because i am so exhausted all the time and just want to collapse when i get home from work with exhaustion it is so frustrating as my brain wants to run around like an idiot but my body says no. the pain is terrible, taking loads of pain killers and even that doesnt help.
I really must stop moaning as i i am well aware there are many people out ther much worse.
at least the weekend is here so having a rest and catching up on stuff at home, got to look into getting a new car as this week but we will see, hopefully dad will sort it for me.
well another week os over and new one about to begin!
this week i am determined to be more positive and get things moving, just need to find some energy to do it.
started on monday with the anniversary of my mums death! i miss her terribly at the moment with all that is going on!!
some positive stuff has happened, spoke to nurse at local hospital and she was fab as allways, really helpful and managed to speak to the RBH for me! I also had a message from RBH to say that they are still looking into the situation and have an appointment on 19th may so we wil see what happens after that.
Struggling emotionally at the moment although managing to hide it most of the time! i think it is because i am so exhausted all the time and just want to collapse when i get home from work with exhaustion it is so frustrating as my brain wants to run around like an idiot but my body says no. the pain is terrible, taking loads of pain killers and even that doesnt help.
I really must stop moaning as i i am well aware there are many people out ther much worse.
at least the weekend is here so having a rest and catching up on stuff at home, got to look into getting a new car as this week but we will see, hopefully dad will sort it for me.
well another week os over and new one about to begin!
this week i am determined to be more positive and get things moving, just need to find some energy to do it.
Saturday, 10 April 2010
11 YEARS AND I FEEL LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY
Tonight will be the the exact night 11 years ago that my beautiful mum collapsed and was placed on a life support machine, i will never forget that awful night, i miss her everyday and right now need her more than ever!!! Planted some beautiful flowers in her memory today so i can look at them everyday. miss you allways mum xxxxx
BUSY, BUSY ,BUSY!!!
Spent the whole day doing carpet cleaning, house work and gardening!
so much for taking it easy! in a lot of pain with chest today so loads of pain killers taken, going to see gp on monday if no improvement as maybe i habe another infection! hope not as i really need to be well for a while.
had a lovely chat with a good friend today and really talked things through, realised how much work is annoying me and people interfering, i have decided from now on head down and do what i need to do, onwards and upwards from now on!!!!
Spent the whole day doing carpet cleaning, house work and gardening!
so much for taking it easy! in a lot of pain with chest today so loads of pain killers taken, going to see gp on monday if no improvement as maybe i habe another infection! hope not as i really need to be well for a while.
had a lovely chat with a good friend today and really talked things through, realised how much work is annoying me and people interfering, i have decided from now on head down and do what i need to do, onwards and upwards from now on!!!!
Friday, 9 April 2010
EXHAUSTED
i am beyond tired today, could sleep forever!!!!
i am not sure how much longer i can deal with feeling like poo, being exhausted, working and trying to look after everything at home!!
spoke to royal brompton yesterday and they promised to call today after yesterdays pointless appointment, but so far no phone call!! and no call from local hossie either. i am not sure how much longer this can go on!!!!
at least the weekend is here so can just rest and relax!! ready for a new week to start again, got loads to do so must get on
i am beyond tired today, could sleep forever!!!!
i am not sure how much longer i can deal with feeling like poo, being exhausted, working and trying to look after everything at home!!
spoke to royal brompton yesterday and they promised to call today after yesterdays pointless appointment, but so far no phone call!! and no call from local hossie either. i am not sure how much longer this can go on!!!!
at least the weekend is here so can just rest and relax!! ready for a new week to start again, got loads to do so must get on
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