Monday, 27 June 2011

annual leave wahoo!!!

Today is my first official day of annual leave, the sun is shining and i can sit in the garden whichis lovely.
I need a rest as still got pseudamonas and mrsa infection so hopefully with new antibiotcs and lots of rest i can get rid of it, if not then i am going to start drinking bleach!!
So far today have done a few jobs for grandad and now sitting in the garden is fab.
Waiting for doctors to phone with latest blood results as coughed up someblood over the week so may need some blood later, fingers crossed not as i dont want to go to hospital today actually not at all this week!!
I just wish you culd  put life on hold for a week and at the end of it everything be  ok, im guessing that isnt going to happen but i can dream.
I have to see dietician on wednesday and not sure how i am going to explain losing eight pound,woops!!! I thinks its ok as still obover what i should be so thats going to be my argument.
I amhopefully going to peters on thursday with kate so that will be lovely although i get so tired easily these days so going to rest up for the days before.
I am still doing my other ou course and the first assignement needs to be in this week so going to be spending the week doing that as not really started it yet, im sure i will get there in the end, although i kind of dont see the point at the moment as long term im not sure what is going to happen,i kind of think i might as well finish this one as ive started it.
Well enough waffling for now, im of to have a sleep, well i was going to but uncle stephen has just found a snake in garden, aparently it was huge, im not so sure but he wants me to look for it, he is supposed to be the man aparently!!!!!!!
Well by for now!!!

Friday, 24 June 2011

Well i finally made it to my weeks annual leave! i need a week of badly to have a rest so thats what i plan to do along with all  the other things i need to do.
I think i proved how much i needed this week of after fainting on my manager on thursday, she is so lovely and i amnot sure where i would be without her, she is so supportive and really understands my situation, i am really hoping that this week of will give my body the rest i needed.
Tonight things are again not so good, my sats are low and i am so cold, never a good sign, so i am hoping some o2 and nebs will help and of course an early night.
oh well nothing else to waffle about so might add something tomorrow.

night night world!

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Just because i cant sleep i thought i would update here, so much has happened this week and i dont feel like i want it broadcast to anyone at the moment, everyone that knows has been so lovely and understanding. Things are tough and i need to deal with them before i can deal with anyone else, that isnt fair i know but its just the way it is at the moment.
I really should be getting to bed as i have to be up for a doctors appointment first thing, i am only seeing nurse and she is brilliant but not sure she is going to be very happy as peak flows well below allowed and chect infection not improving, bloody bugs need to sod of im nored  of them now.
This week is a busy week at work as its cruise week, everyone is being really supportive and helpful which is good and then next week i am  on a weeks annual leave which i need badly as i have loads of ou work to do. i have fininshed my first course now and the examwas no where near as hard as i thought it would be.
well i am waffling now, so must be the oramorph kicking in, time for bed for me.
night night

Sunday, 12 June 2011

In desperate need of a rest

well another week of things going from bad to worse, last week i was having lots of episodes of coughing up blood, although i tried to hide it i managed to not let on as to how bad it was that was until friday when i felt so yuck and felt like i was going to faint all day, spoke to the nurse at hospital and she arranged an urgent appointment with consultant, i think he was shocked by what he saw, not helped by the fact i threw up all over him!! he decided that it was probably an infection but he is worried about starting more antibiotics as the bugs are allready so multi resistant, i had allready had blood taken so he wanted to check levels etc, he offered me admission and of course  i said no!! i promised to go strainght home and rest, and any problems he was the oncall consultant this weekend so go in if any problem. well i went back to work and finally went home around five, by that point i had another phone call from hospital to say i needed some iron tablets and more blood tests on monday. He seemed to think the vitman d i was taking maybe part of the problem although he wasnt sure.
Well anyway by the time i got home i was  absolutely exhausted and just managed to do some housework before collapsing on the sofa. I managed to dose up on some painkillers as the pain was unbearable and started using nebs to see of that would help.
Anyway saturday was not to bad and managed to do bits and pieces, fingers crossed things were getting better, well that was until last night when i honestly thought i was going to die, i have never been so sick in my life and was aspirating everything i ate or drunk so phoned the on call doctor who was lovely and luckily i knew him and he listened to what has happened and decided that he could give me some anti sickness drugs and more painkillers and i had to go to the hospital in the morning to be checked over, anyway had the best nights sleepever before going to the hospital and having bloods checked, chest x ray etc, the decided that i needed some potassium and some blood as they werent happy they also said lungs were showing infection,consultant was on call and he came to see me and he agreed to start somemore antibiotics as the sensitivities were back, he also wants me to see dietician on monday as wants me to only have thickened fluids due to the aspiration, he is not sure what can be done and is going to discuss things with gastro team and southampton as a matter of urgency. He sorted everything out so home now, he probably wanted me to stay but not much point as he was honest and said not a lot he could do,he is goingto phone me on monday to see what is happeneing and anything happens then i will be going back in.
Well thats the whole story so far and now i need to take things easy i am sure people will think i am being lazy and i am expecting the comments at work allready saying that i get away with murder! i wish i did, i just need some time to fight this  but then again im not sure if there is much point any more it all seems  like a lot of hard work.
i also need to speak to kate, she know what is going on and im am being very honest that things are bad im just not sure how much this is affecting her, im sure it must be, im just not sure what to do at the moment.
i am sure things will get better in a few weeks or at least i hope they will and i just hope people are understanding in the mean time, i dont want to waste my little bit of energy that i do have fighting with people, people are welcome to their opinions but i just hope they keep themselves to themselves,i guess the next few weeks will tell me who my real friends are.
Oh well bed for me before another week begins!!