Yesterday was our work christmas party and it was really good fun, I wasn't drinking as I didn't feel like it, and at one point I wasn't even going as I couldn't find anything to wear etc! Anyway I went and I'm glad I did! I even managed to get up and dance, luckily I'm good at hiding how rubbish I feel and I was determined to not let my lungs effect the night! Today has been horrid and very painful! I don't think people realise how tired I get and how it takes me so much longer to recover! Oh we'll ill get there!!
Recently I have been really bothered about how people see me and I'm not sure why, I know who my friends are and that is all that matters! Yes I have health problems and whilst im not going in to it they affect my life everyday in more ways than you can ever imagine! yes I have a motability car and yes I have a disabled badge! I have these because without them I would not get around, there are days when getting out of bed is hard enough let alone going anywhere. I rarely use my blue badge and if I do it's because I really feel that I need to! People seem to look at me and make assumptions which I guess is because they don't know much or are mis guided! Someone the other day said that a long time ago she over heard a conversation about me and people saying I wasn't that ill as I still work etc, well that is due to pure grit aNd determination, I am stubborn and refuse to give it! I was so hurt when I heard this and wish people would put themselves in my shoes for just one day and see what it's like! I'm not asking for sympathy I just would appreciate a little understanding! Oh we'll rant over ill shut up now! I just wish people would think about what they say about others before they say it! I don't actually care what people say about me behind my back but I would rather not hear it. I just want to say this ant aimed at anyone it's just a general feeling I have after some comments I have heard recently! I know that I am being over sensitive but that's the way I am and I can't change it!!!
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