Sunday, 23 January 2011

another week over and another one begins!!

Another week over and another week begins!! i wish weekends were longer, i am so fed up with spending my whoe weekedn feelling rubbish because i have spent the whole week running around like an idiot.
Last week was not as bad as i thought it would be so that was one good thing.
people can be so cruel and i have realy learnt whi my firiends are lately i never though that people would use your health against you, i wouldnt care if they moaned about wbout my work or private life but this hurt personaly.
I am still having problems sleeping and it is driving me nuts, i keeep having nightmares and the worst thing is that i close my eyes and think i am not going to wake up, it is trully terrifying and i cant seem to get rid of it. i guess over time it will be easier, who knows.
i need to start making some decisions and keep thinking it is time for me to give up work or at least cut my hours, part of me would give it up tomorrow but the other side of me doesnt want to give in!! decisions decisions!!!
well one week until i go to southhampton and i can only hope they have some answers, i need something to be done, i once had a life! well enough moaning from me.

Sunday, 9 January 2011

bloody colds!!

Well so far new year not going to bad! That was until I got another bloody cold!! Feeling really rough all weekend and now on maximum meds at home!! We will see what tomorrow brings as I have hospital appointment!! Getting really fed up with it all
On a more positive note I am finally up to date with my ou work! Finding it harder than I thought but will get there eventually!!
Enough gabbling from me time for bed before another busy week ahead!!!

Saturday, 1 January 2011

new year!!

Well another year over!! Not been the best but this year has to be better!!! So whilst I am not really into the whole new years resolution thing there are done things I am gonna change or do!! So here goes my list:
1. Get up every morning and be thankful fir what I have!! Go to bed at night with great thanks for all around me!!
2. Start being a bit more honest about how I really feel!! A smile can hide a thousand troubles but it doesn't make them go away!!
3. Putting myself first!! People are going to have to start seeing me for who I am, I can be no more than I am!!
4.stop hiding how unwell I feel sometimes!! People may look and stare but is using my drugs in public really something to hide!! People cab comment but from now on that's up to them!!!
5. Ask people for help when needed and not struggle on for the sake of it!!
6. Tell my friends and family I love them everyday!!
7. Take extra special time to be there for my best friend and when she's hurting I need to be by her side and we will ride the storm together!!!

Well that's a start!! Now for the normal onei will;
1 lose two stone
2. Start saving (not sure what for but we will see)
3. Finish open university course
Etc etc etc

Now think the first thing I need to do is tidy my bedroom!! This could take me till next new year!!!!