Sunday, 25 April 2010


Much better week this week!!
It has been a busy but better week, finally caught up with work after being in hospital and even managing to get on with coursework, really need to get it finished before the end of the month so must plow on!!
Health wise, things very up an down , had hospital in the week and the nurse was really lovely, she sorted out my theophyylin level and arranged everything i needed, also she is talking to consultant about infection again, so just waiting to hear! she deserves a medal as she helps me loads and i know she is really busy!!
Still in lots of pain but not to bad with painkilers and am determined to not let it get in the way of gettng on, wlthough the truth is it bring me to tears regularly!!

not alot else to say, lets hope this week remains positive and i aoid hospital at all costs!!

Saturday, 17 April 2010

well another week gone and what a horrible one it has been!
started on monday with the anniversary of my mums death! i miss her terribly at the moment with all that is going on!!
some positive stuff has happened, spoke to nurse at local hospital and she was fab as allways, really helpful and managed to speak to the RBH for me! I also had a message from RBH to say that they are still looking into the situation and have an appointment on 19th may so we wil see what happens after that.
Struggling emotionally at the moment although managing to hide it most of the time! i think it is because i am so exhausted all the time and just want to collapse when i get home from work with exhaustion it is so frustrating as my brain wants to run around like an idiot but my body says no. the pain is terrible, taking loads of pain killers and even that doesnt help.

I really must stop moaning as i i am well aware there are many people out ther much worse.

at least the weekend is here so having a rest and catching up on stuff at home, got to look into getting a new car as this week but we will see, hopefully dad will sort it for me.

well another week os over and new one about to begin!
this week i am determined to be more positive and get things moving, just need to find some energy to do it.

Saturday, 10 April 2010


Tonight will be the the exact night 11 years ago that my beautiful mum collapsed and was placed on a life support machine, i will never forget that awful night, i miss her everyday and right now need her more than ever!!! Planted some beautiful flowers in her memory today so i can look at them everyday. miss you allways mum xxxxx
Spent the whole day doing carpet cleaning, house work and gardening!
so much for taking it easy! in a lot of pain with chest today so loads of pain killers taken, going to see gp on monday if no improvement as maybe i habe another infection! hope not as i really need to be well for a while.
had a lovely chat with a good friend today and really talked things through, realised how much work is annoying me and people interfering, i have decided from now on head down and do what i need to do, onwards and upwards from now on!!!!

Friday, 9 April 2010

i am beyond tired today, could sleep forever!!!!
i am not sure how much longer i can deal with feeling like poo, being exhausted, working and trying to look after everything at home!!
spoke to royal brompton yesterday and they promised to call today after yesterdays pointless appointment, but so far no phone call!! and no call from local hossie either. i am not sure how much longer this can go on!!!!
at least the weekend is here so can just rest and relax!! ready for a new week to start again, got loads to do so must get on

Thursday, 8 April 2010

what a day?

Spent two hours travelling to the royal brompton today and was seen for a whole two minutes, what a waste of a day, spent 7 and half hours out of the house and still no further forward!!
getting really fed up now as there just seems no light at the end of the tunnel!!
was only discharged from hospital on tuesday and all they can say is that i am obvioulsy reovering still, the point is this is all they ever say, i thought they were supposed to offer new treatments, but it seem not!! oh my god i am really moaning, must stop it as it does me no good.
still feeling rough and very sympatematic but have to go back to work tomorrow as cant afford not to!!
I suffer with severe brittle asthma, which is at the most severe end of the disease. Anyone that tells you that asthma is just an irritating wheeze that affects children is wrong!! I have daily symptoms, take lots of medication, including high dose steroids and daily nebulised medication. I also take more medications to reduce the side effects that the medication causes. Having severe asthma means that my life is very unpredictable. I can feel fine one minute and have an asthma attack the next. On a good day I feel like I have more energy and can do normal things, but on a bad day I have trouble carrying out the most basic of tasks such as getting dressed. I have had to give up many things over the years that other take for granted, this have included changing my job, not being able to take part in things I enjoy and even a night out with my friends can cause be a problem. Asthma can be frightening, debilitating and at times life threatening. Believe me I know. I have been hospitalised more times than I can remember and without the life saving drugs etc that they give me I wouldn’t be here today!! I am well aware that each asthma attack could end my life and this causes me, my friends and family great distress. I have learnt to deal with this over the years and it makes me more determined to live every day to the full and appreciate what I have in life.

.January 2010I have recently been told that i have emphysema, which means my lungs have been damaged beyond any real repair!! This will progressivly get worse and worse I am determined to try every treatment option and live my life to the full