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Monday 3 September 2012

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

not having a good few days. Part of me wants to scream, another cry and part of me wants to run away. Neither of these will change anything but maybe it would make me feel better.

I feel utterly used at the moment in lots of parts of my life, i have always been the caring type but think some people just take advantage of that and in the end they take the piss. It doesn't matter who is doing this, it is my own fault as i have let them do it and now i am not sure what to do about it now. I will always help anyone and i ask for nothing in return but sometimes i wouldn't mind if people could just consider my feelings. 

I am exhausted beyond relief, my body just doesn't like doing much but my brain wants me to.
I am also in a lot of pain and it seems that i have lost control of it and now its harder to gain again. I feel myself heading for an admission as my lungs hate me, i don't have time at the moment so they are going to have drag themselves out of there strops, and respond to the drugs quicker.

I have just started catching up on some jobs i have been working on for ages, as usual a load more turn up and need doing. I am trying so hard to keep on top of things but there always seems to be something more important to do. I need to try and get into work early on a couple of morning this week so i can get some things done, its convincing my body that it wants to get up early that is the problem.

Oh well i think i need an early night so i am of to land of nod!!

Night Night 



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