Finally managed to write my open university assignemnt and it was acutally easier than thought i am not sure why i was putting it of!! well i say that but we will see when i get the marks!!
Took grandad to the opticians today and that was funny, he obviously hasnt been to a town for years and he was quite funny. managed to get his glasses sorted and i had my eyes tested, one part of my body that is fine as didnt need new glasses which is one good thing.
Got home and again fainted, very bizarre feeling and it seems my body can not cope with doing anything at the moment, i thought i felt better yesterday but very short lived. Aday on the sofa for me and doing not a lot and tomorrow i am not even getting out of bed as i need to go backto work on monday and for that i need to be well.
Having an extra day ofthis week has made a lot of differernece and it wasnt until i started to rest that i realised how exhausted i am!! thank god i have such a caring and understanding manager and work collegues, i hate not being able to keep up and feel like i am letting people down all the time!!
To sum up this week has been horrible full or tears, fears and me being terrified that i cant cope. partly this is because i feel so frustrated with myself for not being able to keep up and partly angry that the future seems so bad! at one point in the week i couldof quite easily just give up and walk away from it all!!i then hit reality fast and realised that this didnt just effect me but the people around me, my close friendy and family who have stood by me through thick and thin must also be as terrified of what the future holds and i was failing to see this. For there sack i cant give up and have to carry on.
Inloads of pain tonight and again coughing up blood so i think time for some strong painkillers and rest i think!! more positive sarah will be back soon
xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment