Its been a hard few days and really need to get it of my chest so i thought here may be a good place.
I havent slept since my last hospital admission and yesterday got to the point of being so tired that i could not function, ended up in tears and although i tried to hide it, i didnt do a good job and did speak to someone.
The problem is that since my last admission i havent been able to move on from being extremely unwell and needing so much medical intervention and its like having flash backs of the whole situation as soon as i close my eyes. I also didnt feel that unwell that day and so now question how i didnt notice and let myself get so unwell.
I stillfeelrough and things are settled completely but i dont want people to think that i am over reacting or not dealing with it.I guess the truth is i am not just scared but terrified by my currecnt situation and cant move forward. I find it hard to talk ti people and i know this hurts people but its becomes hard and emotional. I think i just need to get a grip and they say time is a wondeful thing.
I did speak to my gp yesterday,who gave me something tohelp me sleep for two nights but after that he says if it is no better then i need someone to talk to professionaly as it willjust be masking the problem. He was really nice and said that it wasnt helped by the fact that my potassium levels were very low and alsobloods a little odd, so fingers crossed if we can get that sorted things will be better. I am not sure what wil happen at the moment i guess we will see.
Enough rambling now and really need to see if i can get some kind of sleep before another busy day tomorrow.!!!
Hi Sarah can understand the flashbacks very scary and leave you feeling so vulnerable. Hope the sleeping tablets help.
ReplyDeleteelli xxx
After my worst admission I suffered from a lot a flashbacks and it took a while to get over.
ReplyDeleteDon't let anyone make you feel that you're overreacting or not dealing with it, near death experiences are traumatic and anyone would have a hard time simply moving on.
Talking it through with a professional sounds like a good idea. I hope you're feeling better soon, Sarah.
Hugs, Dawn xx
Sarah, I know exactly what you mean about the flashbacks. It sometimes happens to me after a bad asthma attack, and was really quite bad after my most recent one. I too wasn't sleeping when I got home because of the trauma and the speed of on-set of the attack. I've found writing about it helps and since writing a detailed account of the progression of the last attack I've slept much better. Writing doesn't work for everyone, but it might be worth a try. You're certainly not alone in being traumatised by things such as this, and you're right that you can't hide it forever. Sometimes it's good to show people how things really are, because I think sometimes people think that we get used to such things, but you never get used to facing your mortality.
ReplyDeleteTake care, Sarah, and let the stress out. It might not be the nicest of things to do, but it will help in the end.
Becky.