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Monday 26 December 2011

i feel very spoilt, thank you xxxxx

Well Christmas has been and i was so spoilt that i feel guilty, i got some amazing presents and am so thankful. An ipad which i love and will give me hours of fun, a kindle which i love and can use all the time. A new camera which i really needed. I also have some new pjs and a dressing gown and at first thought that i would never wear them as they were a size 12/14 and i have never been that small, but OMG they fit, which is fab and makes me feel better about my size as i was feeling really fat. I also have some fab fairy lights, new duvet and picture for my room which are all up now. Also some microwaveable slippers which are fab and finally and alarm clock so that i get my bum out of bed on time, which i need as need to get up earlier now. Oh and the most fabulous hats which i love. So all in all i was very spoilt as i also have a new hot water bottle which has been used and much, much more. I was in tears a lot yesterday as i felt so special and really feel like i didn't deserve it. It was also another Christmas and this year has been quite bad at times and my health has been horrendous so it was an important milestone. Things are starting to look up and i am hoping next year is so much better and i don't really care if things aren't perfect i just want to live my life and me as well as i can be. This year  has been hard and at times i could of given up but the one thing that it has taught me is how important life is and how important your friends and family are, they really have stood by me this year and helped me so much.

I have changed my job a little bit and so far so good, i am tired but then again i have been really busy, i love working as part of the care team and never thought i would again so its nice to have the opportunity to have another go. The only thing that worry s me is that i can never say if i don't feel well as i will immediately be taken of the job, but like i said everyone gets ill at some point, we will see what happens i guess. I am not sure if i am going to manage the long days but early s seem OK at the moment. Today i think i have over done it a bit as have needed nebs and oramoph this afternoon as not feeling great but i am sure it is just a blip and tomorrow things will fine.

I also have something else keeping me occupied at the moment and it s giving me a reason to get out of bed at the weekends, i think i had got myself very depressed a few months ago and wasn't even getting dressed at the weekends, but now much better.

Oh well i am waffling now but i have one more thing i want to say, well actually two. I know Kate reads this sometimes and i want to see you mean so much to me and i know this christmas has been hard for you and mum, i am always here for you and if you need anything you only need to shout, I appreciate what you do for me, more that anything in the whole world , thanks for the fab presents i love them and hope you like yours, thanks again sweety and thanks for standing by me. Now to say thanks to pete for the fab presents, as i have said before you need to follow your dreams and do what you want in life, im not going to say much more as i have said it all before.

Oh well i need to play with new toys.

Happy christmas to everyone and may your new year be as special as you want it to be

xxxx

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