Well as you can see its 3 o clock in the morning and this body of mine has decided that it only needs an hours sleep well I have news for it! I am so tired and this does not help. I am still taking the different antibiotics and it us taking its toll with the being sick, they also make me do tired which is horrid, still 9 days to go so by the end god knows what state I will be in.
I have got myself in a pickle about lots of things and just need to get it of my chest so hear goes.
I am worried about Peter as I know he's fed up about his job and situation, I also know that he is having a hard time I just wish he would chill out abut and not get so cross with everyone as a times him and grandad are arguing and I am stuck in the middle, I don't cope we'll with it when I am tired. Chester is settling in well now and I have to say I am quite fond if him, he makes be smile and gives life some meaning..
That's home and it's ok.
I am worried about a friend of mine as I am close to her and they are having a hard time as a family, I am doing my best to help but there us only so much I can do.
I am also worried about Kate as it was fathers day at the weekend although she says she is fine I am never really sure she is as I think she forgets I know her do well and I see through her everything is fine act. I just wish I could be there for her more but at the moment just getting up is hard work .
As for work it is tough, I really have to start saying no as I seem to have a million jobs today and it's to much, I like to be busy but the constant pain and being sick makes it hard. Yesterday I broke down in tears in the office as it just got to much and I felt like I couldn't cope. I hate admitting defeat but I think I am going to have to.
I also have to admit defeat with my medication. It took mr two hours to sort it out at the weekend as there is just do much, I try and get a weeks worth ready then it's done but it confuses me when I am do tired and I find it hard to sort out, don't read this as I am not having it, I am it's just it's turning into a nightmare sorting it out every week, another job I could do without it.
Finally why are people do insensitive, yesterday I was told that I had put in weight and whilst I have a little bit, I wish people would keep there mouth shut, they should try taking huge amount of steroids and try and lose weight, god knows I try and some days. I Hardly eat also with being so suck it's hard to even keep food in.
One final thing I saw a friends beautiful baby yesterday and she is lovely, I was so jealous of her, I know I always say I don't like children, I do really I think I say that to try and convince myself.. I wish my situation was so much different but it's not so I need to get on with it.
Oh well enough moaning From me at stupid I clock in the morning
Sarah
Xxxxx
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