In desperate need of a rest

well another week of things going from bad to worse, last week i was having lots of episodes of coughing up blood, although i tried to hide it i managed to not let on as to how bad it was that was until friday when i felt so yuck and felt like i was going to faint all day, spoke to the nurse at hospital and she arranged an urgent appointment with consultant, i think he was shocked by what he saw, not helped by the fact i threw up all over him!! he decided that it was probably an infection but he is worried about starting more antibiotics as the bugs are allready so multi resistant, i had allready had blood taken so he wanted to check levels etc, he offered me admission and of course  i said no!! i promised to go strainght home and rest, and any problems he was the oncall consultant this weekend so go in if any problem. well i went back to work and finally went home around five, by that point i had another phone call from hospital to say i needed some iron tablets and more blood tests on monday. He seemed to think the vitman d i was taking maybe part of the problem although he wasnt sure.
Well anyway by the time i got home i was  absolutely exhausted and just managed to do some housework before collapsing on the sofa. I managed to dose up on some painkillers as the pain was unbearable and started using nebs to see of that would help.
Anyway saturday was not to bad and managed to do bits and pieces, fingers crossed things were getting better, well that was until last night when i honestly thought i was going to die, i have never been so sick in my life and was aspirating everything i ate or drunk so phoned the on call doctor who was lovely and luckily i knew him and he listened to what has happened and decided that he could give me some anti sickness drugs and more painkillers and i had to go to the hospital in the morning to be checked over, anyway had the best nights sleepever before going to the hospital and having bloods checked, chest x ray etc, the decided that i needed some potassium and some blood as they werent happy they also said lungs were showing infection,consultant was on call and he came to see me and he agreed to start somemore antibiotics as the sensitivities were back, he also wants me to see dietician on monday as wants me to only have thickened fluids due to the aspiration, he is not sure what can be done and is going to discuss things with gastro team and southampton as a matter of urgency. He sorted everything out so home now, he probably wanted me to stay but not much point as he was honest and said not a lot he could do,he is goingto phone me on monday to see what is happeneing and anything happens then i will be going back in.
Well thats the whole story so far and now i need to take things easy i am sure people will think i am being lazy and i am expecting the comments at work allready saying that i get away with murder! i wish i did, i just need some time to fight this  but then again im not sure if there is much point any more it all seems  like a lot of hard work.
i also need to speak to kate, she know what is going on and im am being very honest that things are bad im just not sure how much this is affecting her, im sure it must be, im just not sure what to do at the moment.
i am sure things will get better in a few weeks or at least i hope they will and i just hope people are understanding in the mean time, i dont want to waste my little bit of energy that i do have fighting with people, people are welcome to their opinions but i just hope they keep themselves to themselves,i guess the next few weeks will tell me who my real friends are.
Oh well bed for me before another week begins!!