new day

Yesterday was a bad day in many ways so today I have woken up after thinking about it all night and decided that things have to change!!! yesterday I didn't feel well so that didn't help however thats not unusual!!! Pete annoyed me as he was working till 4 then he text me to say he would be later! so I waited all day to go shopping and then went on my own anyway, not usyally a problem but as my joints hurt so much it was agony!! he was supposed to be at football today whichwould of meant he would of been around tohelp at home today! he then says he is going to work today which is ridiculous as he had already covered!! I know he Is trying to Make a good impression at work as he wants them to keep him on  after Christmas I understand that!! what I don't understand is he told me they had already sorted his contract out!! so who knows what is going on!!! Then the icing on the cake was that he went out last night apparently for 10 minutes which turned into an hour and a half! I know that pete needs a life and i actually think he has quite a good one!! i know he is used to having his own place but that didnt work out and when it all went wrong I bailed him out, in ret urn he Is throwing it all back in my face!! i look after chestw everyday and i love him to bits which i have to admit!! the  problem is if I say anything to  pete he will use chester  to upset me more! i just wish sometimes he would ask and not presume i can have him all the time! i dont mind taking him to work  as the residents  love him and so do the staff just sometimes  i find it hard to get on with things becauae i have to watch him all the tIme!! he has a life I gave Mine up a long time a go and feel like I am only here to cook , clean etc etc!!! I also hate the way he had become so selfish and speaks to everyone like a piece of shit!! if I hear him speak to grandad like he is a piece of shit one more time I will say something to him! I'm surprised he has any friends the way he talks to them! he seems to be obsessed with being gay and puts on this act!! he needs to get a grip as he is the only one that has a problem with it in my eyes!! oh well rant over!!  another situation annoyed me, its reallycomplicated !  I'm not going to whinge anymore as it is boring!!
so I have decided that from now on I am not going to be walked all over and made to feel like I am only  here to cook, clean, do washing and generally look after everyone!! I know its my own  fault as I don't find it easy to Say no! I also think that people have no right to hurt other people's feelings!! oh well I ha've some DecIsisons to make about what I'm going to do! I think I'll have some breakfaSt first!!!